Monday, February 2, 2009


I admit it, I joined Facebook. I did so because an old acquaintance started a group there for high school alumni. Now I have to admit that I have gone back to my hometown of Poplar Bluff, Mo. every five years for my high school reunion. We always have a great turnout and have so much fun reacquainting and well, partying. There are over 700 photos posted now and I have discovered long lost friends. BUT now I am getting asked to be other peoples’ friend who don’t have anything to do with this group. It becomes overwhelming. I am a member of various online Yahoo groups for art, for dyeing, for fashion, for fun and I have a blog (duh?) where I post rantings and so forth and feel each group or site serves a purpose of interacting for a specific reason. Facebook opens up to anyone who you befriend but what if you don’t want that? What if you don't want them to see that picture of you on the mardi gras float? How do you reject someone who wants to be your friend? You certainly don’t want to hurt their feelings but I can’t open my “wall” up to everyone. I feel it’s a certain group I’m interacting with and it would be fairly boring to outsiders, unless they happen to be reporters and I become famous someday, then they might have some dirt on me. LOL! I talked with my son Alex who is a junior at UCSC about Facebook. He found it very amusing but he was happy to show me some ins and outs of it and he commented that Facebook was kinda like high school. HA! I thought, how perfect that I would join to be part of a high school alumni group.

There was a discussion on this at one of the Yahoo groups I’m part of and one person wrote this and I related, so I’m posting it for you to read (she said I could):

OK, I have a confession. I don't have a clue about what Facebook is
or what I'm supposed to do now that I have a page.

I am totally flattered that I keep getting invited to become someone's
friend. Yeah, like who doesn't want friends. I love friends, I live
for friends, I'm always looking to meet new friends.

But, here's my dilemma. Once I agree to be a Facebook friend, I don't
know the etiquette of what to do next.

My DS set me up with a Facebook page after his wedding so he could
link me to pictures where I appeared. I'm not exactly sure why he did
this. Was it some sort of misguided act of respect and love? Or was
it some sort of demonic plot to get even with me because I used to
make him write thank you notes. Either way, this seemed like a simple
and non-threatening act. I could deal with this.

Then, all of a sudden, I started getting requests from distant
relatives who want to be my friend. No joke. One of Howie's cousin's
daughter wanted to be my friend. The last time I saw her, she was 5
years old. She's now married and has two children of her own. This
is spooky on many levels. First, where did all those years go?
Second, how come now, after all these years, she wants to be my
friend? Third, after I became her friend, I never heard from her
again. What's up with that? I'm sure she's a lovely young woman, but
I'm thinking now do I have to invite her for Passover Dinner? Should
I send her kids Chanukah presents? Next time she's sick, do I send
her chicken soup even though she lives 800 miles away? All this
confuses me. I'm not sure I'm really prepared for 21st Century

So, I'm thinking that getting Facebook friends is like getting merit
badges. Whoever has the most Facebook friends, wins.

Then, I started getting invited to be friends with my son's friends.
OK, I admit, some of them I know casually, and some of them I've known
for 20 years. But why would these young men want to be my friend? I
ask you, is this like a 2008 remake of The Graduate and am I Mrs.

And finally, something happens that makes sense to me. My wonderful,
real friends from this group have been inviting me to be friends with
them. This I can understand. Each invitation flatters me. Yes,
someone wants to be my friend and I really want to be their friend. As
I said before, I love friends. I love feeling wanted.

So, now that we're all Facebook friends what do I do next? I never
remember to go to Facebook unless I have to go to agree to be a
friend. Then I get there and I'm overwhelmed with the number of
messages, pokes, invitations, requests and G-d only know what else is
on my page. Am I supposed to respond to these? If I don't respond,
will you stop being my friend? Are you going to reject me? You know
I can't deal with rejection.

HELP! Will someone please clue me into what I'm supposed to be doing.
Is there a Facebook Rules of Appropriate Etiquette?

I know I can count on someone kind-hearted soul to help me out here.


1 comment:

Joanne Huffman said...

So, that's why I haven't invited you to be my Facebook friend.